Pede

Zaman memang sudah berubah, MM - itu kata iklan. Rupanya masalah ketidak ‘pede’ an sudah merambah kemana-mana, tidak hanya orang awam saja yang terkena ‘wabah’ tetapi para mahasiswa pun sudah terjangkiti. Di ruang kuliah, entah mengapa, para mahasiswa lebih enjoy duduk di bagian belakang sementara kursi di deretan depan selalu kelihatan kosong, padahal Pak Dosen atau Bu Dosen selalu ‘berteriak-teriak’ sebelum kuliah dimulai. Mungkin saja pantas kalau mahasiswa berbuat begitu sebab para dosennya pun tidak berbeda. Ketika di kalangan ilmuwan ada pertemuan khusus, sang dosen pun enggan menempati tempat duduk di deretan depan lebih dahulu. Mengapa selalu begitu?

Pada umumnya orang engggan duduk di depan, mungkin akan ‘alergi’ kalau dipaksakan. Mengapa? Apakah masih dibayang-bayangi warisan budaya feodal? Masa di era globalisasi ini bukankah segala sesuatunya sudah berubah, lagi pula bukankah sudah 55 tahun merdeka. Atau apakah karena keberhasilan orang tua dan para ustadz menanamkan etika sehingga terciptalah jiwa ‘rendah hati’, tawadhdhu seperti itu ? Kalau ya, mengapa tidak relevan dengan sifat-sifat lainnya ? Mengapa kalau menyangkut urusan materi atau jabatan manusia menjadi serakah ? Atau boleh jadi yang betul adalah pada umumnya orang tidak percaya lagi dengan dirinya, alias tidak pede.

Memang, rupanya ke ‘pede’ an di zaman akhir ini sudah menjadi barang langka. Yang empunya kulit hitam manis justru menginginkan kulitnya putih kayak bengkoang. Yang sudah tampan kurang percaya kalau tidak operasi plastik. Yang kelihatan sehat mengapa masih perlu juga minum obat kuat.

Makanya tidaklah mengherankan kalau para pengusaha memanfaatkan masalah ke‘pede’an ini sebagai slogan untuk mempromosikan produknya. Entah betul ataukah tidak janjinya bahwa hasil produknya mampu meningkaatkan rasa ke ‘pede ’an. Dari aneka makanan, minuman, pakaian hingga perumahan. Dari parfum, sampo, rokok, glotex hingga softex.

Ada dua macam sifat ke ‘pede’ an yang membawa dampak tidak positif bagi pemiliknya, yaitu tidak pede dan kelewat pede. Mereka yang tidak pede hidupnya selamanya dalam ketakutan dan yang kelewat pede sikap dan tindakannya cenderung tidak menggunakan pikiran, ngawur, pukul dulu urusan belakangan. Mengapa begitu, karena yang diinginkan oleh kedua-duanya sesungguhnya sama yaitu dalam rangka mempertahankan keabadian, awet muda, awet perkasa, awet kuasa dan sebagainya.

Secara tradisional, kurangnya rasa pede seringkali dianggap sebagai masalah intrapersonal, yang seringkali timbul karena seseorang terlalu mengurung dirinya, introvert, kekurangan motivasi untuk bisa tampil berhasil dan takut bertindak gagal, ‘kalah sebelum bertempur’. Tak jarang yang kurang pede menjadi tersisihkan secara alamiah, karena ketidakmampuannya berinteraksi.

Majalah Psychology Today memberikan kiat kepada pembacanya, jangan malas bergaul dan berlatihlah secara kontinue, istiqamah. Berpikirlah positif, jangan terlalu membesar-besarkan kelemahan diri. Yakinilah bahwa orang lain walau ia memiliki sederetan kelebihan tetapi ia pun mempunyai sejumlah kelemahan seperti halnya anda.

Tiap-tiap orang pasti ada kelebihannya masing-masing, likulli syai-in maziyyatan, begitulah kata orang bijak.. Gottman, Guru Besar dalam bidang Psikologi dari Washington University mengatakan. “You don’t have to be interesting, You have to be interested. That’s how You to have conversations” Orang akan tertarik pada yang lainnya adalah karena sifat dan tingkah lakunya, bukan dari janji-janji yang diucapkannya. Oleh sebab itu mengapa anda tidak menjadi pendengar yang baik. Mengapa anda melulu berusaha menarik perhatian dari orang lain dengan cara banyak berbicara. Padahal yang membuat orang tertarik kepada anda adalah bukanlah kuantitas dari pembicaraan anda, akan tetapi dari kualitas pembicaraan yang engkau sampaikan, bukan janji tetapi bukti.

Hidup ini lahir dan berkembang dari proses interaksi antara satu dengan lainnya. Kepercayaan diri berkembang karena bermula kita percaya kepada orang lain dan akhirnya orang lain pun kemudian percaya kepada kita. Makanya tidak ada alasan kalau kemudian kita tidak pede lagi. Oleh karena itu budaya saling percaya antara satu dengan lainnya perlu ditumbuh suburkan. Rasulullah SAW menyatakan, sebaik-baiknya orang adalah insan yang membawa manfaat untuk yang lainnya.

Dalam hidup ini tidak ada yang abadi, hari-hari akan dipergilirkan kepada manusia agar manusia mau berfikir. "Watilkal ayyamu nudawiluha bainannas"

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